Comments on: Do you infantilize your guy? http://datinggoddess.wordpress.com/2007/05/12/do-you-infantilize-your-guy/ The Dating Goddess's Lessons, Stories & Insights for Yummy Midlife Dating Thu, 28 Aug 2008 02:28:49 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=MU hourly 1 By: Stan http://datinggoddess.wordpress.com/2007/05/12/do-you-infantilize-your-guy/#comment-5577 Stan Tue, 15 May 2007 23:10:02 +0000 http://datinggoddess.wordpress.com/2007/05/12/do-you-infantilize-your-guy/#comment-5577 My best episode is when ex saw the credit-card charge for shoes I had bought post-separation, and called up to give advice on where I should buy shoes, even though the card charge was kind of a big hint that maybe I had, well, *already* bought some! Typical of the marriage, alas. My best episode is when ex saw the credit-card charge for shoes I had bought post-separation, and called up to give advice on where I should buy shoes, even though the card charge was kind of a big hint that maybe I had, well, *already* bought some! Typical of the marriage, alas.

]]> By: bestyegg http://datinggoddess.wordpress.com/2007/05/12/do-you-infantilize-your-guy/#comment-5472 bestyegg Sat, 12 May 2007 21:26:43 +0000 http://datinggoddess.wordpress.com/2007/05/12/do-you-infantilize-your-guy/#comment-5472 Well...some people hate clothes shopping women included; but something tells me for men it's a really loaded....they finally have to face the fact that the mirror is truthful. I think you were brave even attempting to assist him. Well…some people hate clothes shopping women included; but something tells me for men it’s a really loaded….they finally have to face the fact that the mirror is truthful. I think you were brave even attempting to assist him.

]]> By: christina http://datinggoddess.wordpress.com/2007/05/12/do-you-infantilize-your-guy/#comment-5459 christina Sat, 12 May 2007 16:10:51 +0000 http://datinggoddess.wordpress.com/2007/05/12/do-you-infantilize-your-guy/#comment-5459 Perhaps because men tend to be so condescending they immediately assume that's what we are doing? They love to lecture and it seems not to matter if they know anything about the subject. It has taken me years to realize this is a male trait and not a reflection on what he thinks of what I might know on any subject. It's just crowing and it is usually more about how he feels about himself than how he feels about me.. These are gross generalizations but women usually dig pretty deep before they condider themselves expert enough to say something on a subject and so feel as if they are sharing hard-won wisdom rather than telling anyone what to do. (Unless we are talking about the socks under the table. In that case, just pick them up!) cheers from not25.com Perhaps because men tend to be so condescending they immediately assume that’s what we are doing? They love to lecture and it seems not to matter if they know anything about the subject. It has taken me years to realize this is a male trait and not a reflection on what he thinks of what I might know on any subject. It’s just crowing and it is usually more about how he feels about himself than how he feels about me.. These are gross generalizations but women usually dig pretty deep before they condider themselves expert enough to say something on a subject and so feel as if they are sharing hard-won wisdom rather than telling anyone what to do. (Unless we are talking about the socks under the table. In that case, just pick them up!) cheers from not25.com

]]> By: Bookyone http://datinggoddess.wordpress.com/2007/05/12/do-you-infantilize-your-guy/#comment-5455 Bookyone Sat, 12 May 2007 10:49:32 +0000 http://datinggoddess.wordpress.com/2007/05/12/do-you-infantilize-your-guy/#comment-5455 Hi DG, I love this one. As I am re-reading the MV books for about the zillionth time, I am re-reminded that guys hate this sort of thing (being reminded to do anything) while women on the whole generally don't mind it. It's funny, but I've never had a problem with a guy (or gal friend) making suggestions to me or reminding me to do things, but God forbid I make a suggestion to said guy about anything, (my ex was a real jerk about this). I guess I really don't understand this behavior at all. Is it because we as a society expect women to be infinitely malleable in our desire to please other people (especially men) but we don't expect men to accomodate us at all? That doesn't seem quite fair or right to this Venusian. I guess I'll just have to keep reading, obviously I've missed something important in the translation... Best wishes from bookyone :) Hi DG,

I love this one. As I am re-reading the MV books for about the zillionth time, I am re-reminded that guys hate this sort of thing (being reminded to do anything) while women on the whole generally don’t mind it. It’s funny, but I’ve never had a problem with a guy (or gal friend) making suggestions to me or reminding me to do things, but God forbid I make a suggestion to said guy about anything, (my ex was a real jerk about this). I guess I really don’t understand this behavior at all. Is it because we as a society expect women to be infinitely malleable in our desire to please other people (especially men) but we don’t expect men to accomodate us at all? That doesn’t seem quite fair or right to this Venusian. I guess I’ll just have to keep reading, obviously I’ve missed something important in the translation…

Best wishes from bookyone :)

]]> By: Cupertino http://datinggoddess.wordpress.com/2007/05/12/do-you-infantilize-your-guy/#comment-5453 Cupertino Sat, 12 May 2007 08:26:56 +0000 http://datinggoddess.wordpress.com/2007/05/12/do-you-infantilize-your-guy/#comment-5453 No question, DG, this is one of my hot buttons. “I’m just trying to help.” My feeling: well, if I had wanted your help, I would have asked for it. Maybe I get plugged into memories of my mother; I don't know. I do know that when my girlfriend tells me how she thinks I ought to do something, it brings up anger -- as if she feels I'm not competent -- and I have to catch myself before I let my upset out. It's been a problem at times when I didn't catch myself. Maybe because of my (over) sensitivity to this, I'm usually pretty careful about not offering unsolicited advice. I wonder... are men more sensitive to this than women? No question, DG, this is one of my hot buttons. “I’m just trying to help.” My feeling: well, if I had wanted your help, I would have asked for it.

Maybe I get plugged into memories of my mother; I don’t know. I do know that when my girlfriend tells me how she thinks I ought to do something, it brings up anger — as if she feels I’m not competent — and I have to catch myself before I let my upset out. It’s been a problem at times when I didn’t catch myself.

Maybe because of my (over) sensitivity to this, I’m usually pretty careful about not offering unsolicited advice.

I wonder… are men more sensitive to this than women?

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