Comments on: Approaching dating like a buffet

By: Callebaut

Callebaut — Thu, 14 Jun 2007 01:22:14 +0000

So now I know why I have such bad luck at dating; I hate buffets. Standing in line to find that all the best things have been picked over — kind of like the leftover guys who are single in their 40s and 50s — and the emphasis is on quantity, not quality.

By: Bookyone

Bookyone — Wed, 13 Jun 2007 12:34:17 +0000

Hi DG,

While I’m not actively dating at present, I take the buffet approach to my online penpal friendships. I have male and female penpals ranging in ages from 18 to 60 something from all across the U.S. and six different foreign countries. It’s my belief that we can learn something new from each new person and every new interaction, so, IMHO, until two people have discussed and agreed upon exclusivity in a relationship, it doesn’t make sense to limit your interactions.

Best wishes from bookyone

By: Ellen

Ellen — Wed, 13 Jun 2007 00:29:33 +0000

Ah, until the “we-are-exclusive” conversation, we can see whoever, or as many, as we please!!! I’m still a big believer in having dates that are fun so that they are NOT interviews. A walk on the pier, a visit to a museum, or take him shopping to the hardware store – all are fun for me and show me the guy in a “real” setting so I can learn more about him. He can say all he wants about himself, but seeing him in action tells me the truth. Plus it’s likely to be much more fun than a Q&A!!!

Off to the buffet!
xo Ellen
http://www.WonderfulOnlineWomenLA.com

By: Dating Goddess

Dating Goddess — Wed, 13 Jun 2007 00:17:51 +0000

Hi Walt:

I don’t mention I’m dating others unless it looks like I’d like to spend time again with the person. Then I feel out his reaction.

But as I mentioned in “Assume there are other women” most people dating from online sites should assume there are others in the mix, even if you only see one person at a time. The women you were with was naive to get incensed at that — she just didn’t understand how many people use online dating.

By: Christine

Christine — Tue, 12 Jun 2007 23:34:41 +0000

In a word, no. I think far too much “interviewing” goes on during a first date. Remember when we were younger and a date was doing something active, fun, adventurous and we just enjoyed the experience together. Why are we asking probing, intrusive questions and setting up rules and boundaries when we don’t even know if we enjoy the person’s sense of humor? I think there is certainly a time for these conversations, but not on a first or even second date.