Comments on: Do you project life with your date? http://datinggoddess.wordpress.com/2007/06/21/do-you-project-life-with-your-date/ The Dating Goddess's Lessons, Stories & Insights for Yummy Midlife Dating Thu, 26 Nov 2009 06:56:45 +0000 http://wordpress.com/ hourly 1 By: Nick http://datinggoddess.wordpress.com/2007/06/21/do-you-project-life-with-your-date/#comment-8073 Nick Tue, 03 Jul 2007 13:29:46 +0000 http://datinggoddess.wordpress.com/2007/06/21/do-you-project-life-with-your-date/#comment-8073 Strblonde - I can be a negative thinker in general (in fact, a significant part of my job requires me to do so). But if I can't visualize being with her doing the mundane stuff, then it's difficult for me to believe that we'd be able to hold each other's interest. Strblonde – I can be a negative thinker in general (in fact, a significant part of my job requires me to do so). But if I can’t visualize being with her doing the mundane stuff, then it’s difficult for me to believe that we’d be able to hold each other’s interest.

]]> By: Deborah http://datinggoddess.wordpress.com/2007/06/21/do-you-project-life-with-your-date/#comment-7521 Deborah Fri, 22 Jun 2007 20:53:56 +0000 http://datinggoddess.wordpress.com/2007/06/21/do-you-project-life-with-your-date/#comment-7521 I am guilty of this, and it can really mess with my head. However, I think you can also use those fantasies to force yourself to be honest about the potential for a relationship. I once dated a guy with two kids, 5 and 7 years old. I was fantasizing about hanging out with his children, when I realized I didn't want young children in my life all the time. Had I not allowed myself to daydream ahead, I don't think I would have realized that. I've also learned to recognize that if I'm fantasizing about a BIG change in my lifestyle, then something is wrong: it means I'm not happy with how things are going in my life, not that the guy is "the one." I am guilty of this, and it can really mess with my head. However, I think you can also use those fantasies to force yourself to be honest about the potential for a relationship. I once dated a guy with two kids, 5 and 7 years old. I was fantasizing about hanging out with his children, when I realized I didn’t want young children in my life all the time. Had I not allowed myself to daydream ahead, I don’t think I would have realized that. I’ve also learned to recognize that if I’m fantasizing about a BIG change in my lifestyle, then something is wrong: it means I’m not happy with how things are going in my life, not that the guy is “the one.”

]]> By: Strblonde http://datinggoddess.wordpress.com/2007/06/21/do-you-project-life-with-your-date/#comment-7504 Strblonde Fri, 22 Jun 2007 11:17:44 +0000 http://datinggoddess.wordpress.com/2007/06/21/do-you-project-life-with-your-date/#comment-7504 Do you suppose if we were negative thinkers that we would not fantasize like this??? Do you suppose if we were negative thinkers that we would not fantasize like this???

]]> By: Paulette http://datinggoddess.wordpress.com/2007/06/21/do-you-project-life-with-your-date/#comment-7477 Paulette Fri, 22 Jun 2007 01:11:55 +0000 http://datinggoddess.wordpress.com/2007/06/21/do-you-project-life-with-your-date/#comment-7477 First, as to whether you're weird or not, well, you're in good company if we collectively conclude you are! Just yesterday, in fact, I had a coffee date with someone I knew very little about. Yes, I read into the words I saw online, on the plus side before meeting with him. Then, while chatting for a couple hours over an iced tea, I found myself imagine lots (and lots and lots!) of things on the minus side. The great news here was that I think there was a mutual non-love connection! However, as you recently discussed in another post, it looks like he may be helpful in making some professional connections on my behalf. So it was worth getting dated up, regardless. First, as to whether you’re weird or not, well, you’re in good company if we collectively conclude you are! Just yesterday, in fact, I had a coffee date with someone I knew very little about. Yes, I read into the words I saw online, on the plus side before meeting with him. Then, while chatting for a couple hours over an iced tea, I found myself imagine lots (and lots and lots!) of things on the minus side. The great news here was that I think there was a mutual non-love connection! However, as you recently discussed in another post, it looks like he may be helpful in making some professional connections on my behalf. So it was worth getting dated up, regardless.

]]> By: dirty filthy princess http://datinggoddess.wordpress.com/2007/06/21/do-you-project-life-with-your-date/#comment-7464 dirty filthy princess Thu, 21 Jun 2007 22:51:55 +0000 http://datinggoddess.wordpress.com/2007/06/21/do-you-project-life-with-your-date/#comment-7464 oh no, you are not alone. I'm married now but I did this when I was dating. I liked your examples but couldn't identify with any of them. What do you imagine when you meet a guy with a regular working man's job? Or is that not your type. (Sort of being silly teasing here...) oh no, you are not alone. I’m married now but I did this when I was dating.

I liked your examples but couldn’t identify with any of them. What do you imagine when you meet a guy with a regular working man’s job? Or is that not your type.

(Sort of being silly teasing here…)

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