Courage and dating

“Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage.” —Anais Nin

Last night in a class I’m taking, I briefly shared my story about how I’ve come to reenter the dating world, and how much I’ve learned from many of the men I’ve met. The instructor told me she was awed by the courage I have to keep at it even though I haven’t yet met Mr. Right. Afterward, a number of women told me how inspiring my story was, as they either hadn’t dated since they’ve found themselves single, or have dated but been frustrated so gave up.

I don’t think of myself as a particularly courageous person, although I know I’ve done things that the majority of the population wouldn’t consider doing. However, I compare myself to mountain climbers, sky divers, race car drivers and others whose courage far outpaces mine.

But the more I thought about it I had to agree that dating does take some courage. You make yourself vulnerable putting yourself out there, warts, double chins, extra pounds and all, and risk rejection. I have been rejected, sometimes painfully, but often when I’m not a match for someone my date either says so matter-of-factly, or, if he has no courage, he just disappears.

The other options, however, aren’t very effective. You can go about your normal business and hope to run into Mr. Right, be introduced to him by friends, or be lonely staying at home by yourself. By putting yourself in the game you hone your flirting, dating, and communication skills (if you’re at all conscious), and you clarify what you want and don’t want.

So if you haven’t yet dipped your toe in the dating water, I encourage you to start wading. The water may be a little bracing at first, but you’ll get used to it and you’ll find yourself swimming in men in no time!

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Explore posts in the same categories: Dating after 40, Getting your dating attitude on

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