Yummy is as yummy does
When my friends ask if a particular man I’m seeing is handsome, I commonly respond, “If I saw him from across the room, I wouldn’t say ‘Who’s that yummy guy?’ But the more I’m with him, the yummier he gets.”
Men seem to become cuter as their personalities emerge. A man who isn’t George Clooney handsome can be irresistible because of his humor, insights, introspection, boldness, thoughtfulness, intelligence, smile, presence and self-confidence. In fact, some of the sexiest and most attractive men I’ve known wouldn’t be considered handsome if you just saw their pictures. But within minutes of being with them, they’ve won you to their side.
And somehow men who are attracted to you and treat you like a queen grow more appealing. Some guys know this, especially if they aren’t particularly good looking. If women don’t naturally flirt with him, a smart man makes himself alluring by consciously treating a woman so she feels special, appreciated and sexy — as long as he’s not slimy about it.
So even if a man isn’t initially tantalizing, give him a chance to improve his yummy-quotient. You may just find a wonderful gentleman hiding under a ordinary exterior — and you’ll end up besotted nonetheless.
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Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40 
September 28, 2006 at 10:14 am
Actually I don’t think that is entirely true. As my Dad says, a little coldness at the beginning of relationship goes a lot futher than a lot of warmth. Nothing is more appealing than someone who seems to be thinking “Humm, I could do better, but he/she might just be acceptable”. Human nature makes that attitude irresitable.
September 28, 2006 at 11:36 am
Bruce — we often agree. Sometimes we don’t. Here’s an instance where we don’t. I wouldn’t be drawn to someone who had an attitude of “I could do better.” That would be off-putting to me. So I guess I’m the opposite of you, your dad, and perhaps human nature!
September 29, 2006 at 11:20 am
I am sorry to hear that Goddess! Although I know I could do better, I thought you just might be at the lower end of my range. Liz are you reading this? Doing anything tonight?
October 2, 2006 at 1:53 pm
Every woman I am with on a date has 120% of my attention and I agree its bad form to flit with anyone other than the girl you brought to the dance. It is only when I am not with her (whoever her is) that my attention wanders.
Since we will be having dinner in San Francisco, as long as the waiter is not flirting with me things well be alright.
October 2, 2006 at 8:25 pm
Bruce:
What if the waiter flirts with both of us? Could be an interesting night!
And you’ll be juggling at least two women, so how will you give each of us 120% of your attention?
October 3, 2006 at 9:13 am
If he flirts with both of us does that mean we will both have to leave a tip?
And excuse me, how I will be juggling two women? Is Liz coming to dinner too?
January 22, 2007 at 3:19 pm
Goddess is right, we want to believe we are the only one you are interested in. We all have abandonment issues at some point and openly flirting with others and/or letting them know of another is just plain mean and game playing. Worthy of being put on the back burner of dating until you shape up. Bruce, you really don’t know very much so you must be falling back on just your looks. Cockyness is the least attractive trait.
Back to Yummy–I just happened to fall in love with a man who is not handsome by any means but it is how he makes me feel when I am with him from the minute I met him. He makes up for it in the way he remembers everything, his genuine interest and being my friend. Treats me like I am special and I feel like I am the only woman in the room. I can rely on his admiration, his good humor, conversation, and it warms my heart and other areas 🙂 much more than any man I have ever dated (there have been plenty).I am often told by other men that they don’t “get it” because he is not, in their minds, worthy of me. I just smile. I resisted this man from the beginning, and then one day I realized that he stole my heart.
January 22, 2007 at 3:35 pm
Hi Sharon:
What a sweet story about your man. Thanks for sharing it.
Bruce just likes to play, so we give him lots of slack. He’s really a good guy and pretends to be cocky to see if he can get us to play with him. We usually do. It’s fun and he knows more than it appears.
January 23, 2007 at 8:13 am
We are no longer together but the relationship (long story-my fault probably) was such an eye opener to me. It has been difficult finding someone to fill those shoes no matter how attractive they are.
I guess I bit on the bait line that Bruce threw into the lake. LOL I see him in a different light now, cleaver and sexy with a sense of humor.
August 7, 2015 at 11:53 am
[…] gone out with in the last two years have been handsome. Some cute, but, as I wrote in “Yummy is as yummy does,” you men get cuter when we get to know you. And you have a fun personality, so you’re […]
August 7, 2015 at 3:53 pm
[…] Intellectually we know that it only matters that we think we are attractive, and what others think isn’t our concern. But deep down we also like to know that the person we are dating finds us attractive and is able to express that genuinely. Yes, it can be overdone so that you think the man only wants to be with you because of your looks. But if he tells you sincerely and regularly, somehow it makes him more attractive too! And, of course, the more beautiful a person is on the inside, as shown through his thoughtfulness, kindness, caring, respect and attention toward you and others, his outer looks become more appealing. (See “Yummy is as yummy does.”) […]
March 21, 2016 at 5:12 pm
[…] a treasure in someone you might not have thought you’d like. (See my postings on “Yummy is as yummy does” and “Treasure […]