Playing the online dating game

I got winked at today by someone whose profile was without a picture. In fact, in place of the picture the dating site says “Ask for a picture.”

However, his profile says “I care whats [sic] inside not the cover and its important that the first thing her email says is not send me a picture (how shallow). I am not Robert Redford or Mel Gibson but I can hold my own when it comes to looks but this does not mean I am ready to send a photo to the world.”

This guy clearly doesn’t understand how the online dating game works. And good or bad, a photo says volumes about a person. It’s not just if you think he is attractive or not, it’s what a person decides to post. A 53-year-old guy posted — as his only pic — one of him at 17. What is he thinking? Others post photos that are too dark to see his face, or too small, or in a dirty t-shirt, or with sunglasses and a hat. Obviously, all these guys are clueless how the game is played.

Another clueless person was one who wrote me a nice email. I am not a member of the site, so could only respond with the site’s pre-determined responses. Usually, when you write someone, you give him your email in case they aren’t members. He did not. Then he wrote me a nasty email complaining that I’d only sent one of the pre-determined messages. He didn’t realize that if you aren’t a member that’s all you can send. I have joined sites just to respond to someone, but his response showed me how angry he can get over nothing, so I didn’t want to join to write him.

So you have to know how the game is played and at play along. Trying to buck the system will only get you heartache — and few dates!

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